Month: November 2014

Mark Latham Is Better Than You

I got home from work this evening, sat down to scroll through my monotonous Facebook news feed filled with Buzzfeed articles titled What Your Friends REALLY Think Of You and 21 Times Beyonce Slayed (okay, I would click on that one), when I saw one titled Why Left Feminists Don’t Like Kids.

Now I don’t USUALLY get riled up about Australia’s politics and ridiculous politicians because I literally have no right to do anything about it – I just live here – that doesn’t mean they let me vote. In any case, I read this article and I just couldn’t… even…

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Mark Latham, who apparently at some point in his pre stay-at-home-dad life was almost an Australian PM, sure knows how to put people in boxes.  

Mark Latham

In his article published a few days ago on the Australian Financial Review (snore), Latham discusses his confrontation with “left-feminism” using ONE example of ONE “left-feminist’s” (Lisa Pryor) ONE Sydney Morning Herald article in which she states that her secret to full-time study and being a mother of two is “caffeine and antidepressants”. This seems to be a kind of epiphany for Latham – he finally understands “the core arguments of left-feminism”.

Oh dear, he really should pick up that SMH more often “as an exercise in political awareness”.

Latham has managed to read a lot into an article which to me, seems to be about how IT’S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY. DON’T BE ASHAMED. SO, SOMETIMES YOU POP PILLIES TO HELP YOU SLEEP, WE ALL GOT OUR MCDONALDS.

But no, apparently I totally missed its underlying theme of drug pushing and demon children.

“You know the refrain: men have rigged the rules of society by dominating the workforce, while women are left with the agony of domestic duties, the nightmare of raising kids…. It’s widely assumed that home-based life is pathetically menial. So much so, in Pryor’s case, that only a cocktail of little red pills and caffeine-overload can ease the burden.”

Latham goes on to say that his own home-based “lifestyle has never been more satisfying. Whether it’s my daughter’s smile, my eldest son’s Aussie irreverence or the belly laughter of my youngest son – these are my anti-depressants, every hour, every day.”

Latham is sure he is just as busy as Pryor (no literally, he says “I’m sure I’m just as busy as she is”). How wonderful for you, you can multi-task with only the smiles and laughter of your children as stimulants (maybe you should change your surname to Wazowski?), but you are one individual in a big wide world of diversity and individuality. This doesn’t mean you can tear down people who need a little more than a canister filled with baby giggles to make it through the rough days. It doesn’t mean these people find their children’s company any less wonderful, or that they find raising a family any less rewarding. It doesn’t make them childish or cowardly, it just makes them different to you.

Latham poses two questions to his reader that made this reader’s eyes bleed.

1. Why do people like this have children in the first place?

I put that part in red just to really emphasise how MORONIC it sounds. Latham thinks he knows Pryor and people like her. Little boxes, that’s where we’re all going.

2. Other than for money, why would anyone want to commute and toil long hours for businesspeople?

Here are some reasons, other than for money, I would commute and toil long hours for businesspeople

  • If I was a paramedic, saving people from death erryday
  • If I was a firefighter, a doctor, an ER surgeon, or whatever, savin’ people n shit
  • If I just genuinely enjoyed my job and found it rewarding – is that so hard to COMPREHEND?
  • If I didn’t have to commute to work (being an “inner-city feminist” and all)
  • If I didn’t have to work long hours
  • If the “businesspeople” were “me, myself and I” because I work for my bad self

Surely you can’t think everyone in this world ONLY works for money? I weep for your soul.

Wazowski_In_A_Box

Mark experiences life from a box of his own making

Lastly I would like to say if you, Latham/Wazowski, have built a box for inner-city-left-feminists, I guess I would be one of those people forced inside of it. I live inner-city, I consider myself a feminist, and even though I had literally never heard of the term left-feminist until you repeated it ad-infinitum in your article, I guess I would be one of those too.

But do you know what else? I bloody love children. I cannot WAIT to have my own. And I also want a career, a creative one that makes me happy, stimulates my mind and keeps me busy. I want both and that is my “recreation”, and my right. And if that sometimes pushes me over the edge, at least I will have people like Pryor to talk to at all of the inner-city-feminist-parties I’ll be going to (if I manage to get someone to watch my satanic offspring for the night), to let me know I am not alone.

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Let me know if you like posts like this and I might do more of them. Let me know if you hated this post and then LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK.

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This post was originally published with the title “Feminism is a Synonym for Neurosis”

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Sneaker Night

Throwback to that time baby V released a song about how you should go clubbing in sensible footwear to ensure maximum dance effort, basically.

Okay so it kind of looks like a Sketchers ad disguised as a music video but I’m pretty sure the girl was onto something. It’s six years later and I can’t walk around my neighbourhood without seeing fifty girls wearing their Nikes. I don’t know if it’s because they look awesome, because I’m so relieved I can be cool AND comfortable or if it’s just that I am just a sheep following a trend – All I know is, I am so not ready for Sneaker Night…

…and this just won’t do.

So let’s pretend, for a moment that I am not being a sheep. Let me have my sneakers

SneakerNight Picks

Images sourced from Pinterest. Contact me if they are yours.

What do you think of this sneaker revolution? Here to stay or too good to be true?

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#neverforget