Sh*t People Email Me

Office

If you’ve ever worked in customer service you will have experienced that people suck, they are stupid and they are most definitely NOT always right.

I am frequently contacted by people who think that

a) they are applying for a job

b) I can assist them with their query

c) I am the right person to complain to

d) they need to threaten me with legal action

All of which are things the company I work for has absolutely nothing to do with in the context of the emails.

In some cases there can be no rhyme or reason at all for them filling out that online form – they are just insane…

Over the past year I have saved my favourites of these correspondences and I feel as though now is as good a time as any to share.

Merry Christmas to everyone who has ever been screamed at, in person, over the phone, or via email. Sometimes there is nothing you can do but wait until the maniac customer hangs up/storms out/gets sucked through a vortex into an alternate universe, but just know, you are not alone.

Side Note: Spelling/grammar has not been changed.

*Also featuring appropriate GIFs!

The Job Applicants 

  • PLEASE GIVE A CHANCE TO WOKE WITH YOU..

The Ones Who Need Help

  • Please send me the professors email address. He knows me
  • My wife would be interested in this treatment for fatty deposits around the stomach. Could you advise of approximate treatment costs and provide brochure/s.
  • not sure what this is about
  • helo ihave a question and i want to guide me can u help me?
  • Would like to inform you I have been clicking on the link To record my information but it does not open link, can you please activate it Or will I need to go on Google page Thanking you for you support.

The Whiners

  • I’D LIKE SOME FEEDBACK ON WHY THIS IS SUCH A POOR SERVICE PLEASE.
  • Not good enough!!!!!Not a very big list.
  • Have you stopped being a thief, liar,a shonk who can work under supervision, or have you reformed and become a decent human being, for my peace of mind I would like to know.
  • THE PHONE NUMBER DOES NOT WORK IT IS DISCONNECTED. FIX IT WOW useless.

The Ones Who Will Sue You

  • Can you please contact me because I don’t want to embaress you with a supina.  I trusted you to be honest and fair.  You don’t have much time…

The “I Couldn’t Even Guess What This Is Supposed To Be About” Emails

  • Sddfsddsd
  • Subject: Computer (no further email content)
  • Im writing because im wondering if you have heard from my half brother lately. I wouldn’t be surprised if you have. If you.have id ignore him because I have enough proof that he was telling you lies about me. If you would like to discuss contact me here.
  • giup chau voi. Chong chau di lay nguoi khac bo me con chau. Mong may co may chu giup chau voiAccording to Google Translate this last one means: Help Chau. Your husband went to get them to give me children and grand children. Hope you help me sew servers elephant

I love hearing about customer service experiences, it really helps me hammer down my cynical view that people are awful and that I should stay inside all day to avoid them.

Got a story of customer service woe!? Share below!

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